SO, I'm game for chat games

Even though, I'm not sure I understand the rules.

Take the 'chat-status' for instance.
'Busy'. What's that supposed to mean?
That's saying:
"Look, I'm here. I want you to know I'm here. I want you to know that I have a machine - that, I have access to internet - that, I logged into the chat application - that, I would like to talk to you lesser people - But, I'm an important person - I'm going to play hard to get - I'm BUSY."

YET, I receive most messages from friends who are 'busy'.
Their most frequently used opening line: "Hey Wassup? Gosh! I'm Bored!"

And, has that RED 'busy ball', or the program's irritating reminder - 'You may be interrupting the receiver' - ever stopped any of us from doing exactly that?
No! Hell No!
I tried to maintain that discipline, until, one day I decided to play hard to get and went 'Busy'. Instantaneously I started receiving more messages than a whole 'chat' lifetime of 'Available Invisibility'.

Wish we could do the same in real life. Walk around wearing a cap with a bulb on it.
Just click - the bulb goes RED - with a message saying - 'I am Busy' - hovering around. Every time people start to talk, a voice over (a sexy husky female voice) let's people know they are 'interrupting'.

***
'Busy' people are definitely faking it, because they chose against the 'Go Invisible' option.

The Invisible option.
I personally believe, it's the greatest invention after the wheel, cable TV, and 2-minute noodles.
Greater than internet itself.

To me, going invisible online, is living my boyhood fantasy, only in the virtual world.
[Somehow, my invisibility to people in real life doesn't excite me as much!]

It's the power of being invisible that gives the kick. You are on the other side of this force field, chuckling away in disdain, looking at the lesser virtual beings playing their stupid chat games with their lame 'busy' sign and lamer 'status messages'.

***

I JUST don't understand Status Messages'!

Human's irresistible love for graffiti just doesn't wear off, does it?
They have to demonstrate how they feel, in every single inch of public space they get.
They didn't even leave that tiny space that's supposed to show if you are available to talk, or are off to lunch!

"I'm at a crossroads in life ..."
"My wounds don't heal ..."
"Happy B'day ..."
"Plato said ..."
"I like ice-creams ..."
"My cat has an itch in it's ..."

Do I care?!

If everyone is sooooo enthusiastic about these status messages, again, how about doing the same in real life?>!
Walk around wearing tees that reads your status:
"I'm Available."
"Buy me a drink."
"Don't even think about it!"

It's any day better than the tees with lame random letters/numbers printed on it!
" 'WQSG 87Z', Whoa! his tee says 'WQSG 87Z'. I don't what that means, but it must be something very very important and cool!"

***
So, I'm game for chat games.
SEE you there.
(Or, maybe YOU will NOT be able to! Muwahahaha!)

SO, we have a happening planet!

So, I wake up this morning and like every morning, reach for the newspaper, to go as a snack with my wake-me-up tea. After all, to act as an adult, I must pretend to know/care/understand what is happening, with the planet.

Turns out, a LOT.
A lot is happening, with the planet!
To be precise: 20 pages. Printed front & back. Magazines extra.

I'm amazed. Because absolutely nothing is happening with/around me. And, I'm an active earth-man. One with membership to the cheapest of up-class gyms, singular status and a room with wooden speakers with boosters and all that.

Try pretending to know/care/understand what is happening in my life, and the best you will get out of me is :

"Well... Aaaeeenh!"

***

How's that possible? How can SO much happen everyday, day after day, on a consistent basis, on a planet inhabited by 6.6 billion blokes, who are just as BORED as me?!

How easy it must be for the planets to have a conversation with other planets over cosmic-coffee, or while they cross each other during their rounds? How effortlessly they can answer these questions? The kind, that absolutely petrifies the denizens of the above mentioned places, and is yet thrown around so carelessly by the same!

Uranus: Hey buddy, What's Up?
Earth: Well ... markets crashing, glaciers melting, politicians fighting, celebrities mating ... the regular. Here, take a copy of the Daily Tribune. 20 pages.

20 pages.
I'm flummoxed to see, how events happening around the world, always fit in exactly 20 pages!
There's "aaaaalways" something happening.
And these events are evenly spaced, like they have a deal amongst them, not to take each others charm away.

***

How about a boring day for the planet?
One morning I would like to wake up, reach for the newspaper, to go as a snack with my wake-me-up tea, and read:

"Well... Aaaeeenh!"